Mes Betises

I make mistakes pretty frequently. I struggle with French grammar after a long day of listening to three languages and adapting to each. I try to make sense of my thoughts in French and most of the time the word is right in the back of my mind, but it simply won't surface. This isn't unique to me, of course. But it explains the constant humming of my mind and why my personality exhibits a similar duality to that of the culture of Morocco. I am engaged in these different spheres constantly and it's both exhilirating and tiring.

The other faux-pas I make are cultural. For instance, it's bad juju to whistle inside a house and since I am mostly conservative on the streets, I never whistle, but at home I let down my guard. I constantly forget that whistling is not permissible, but it's because I'm like a bird, I sing all of the time and it seems unnatural for me to contain these songs.

I was unable to fast for half of Ramadan due to constant illness. This isn't abnormal for me, but it's mandatory to make up for the days that I missed somehow. I can do that through charity, community service, and fasting after I get better. I've chosen to give charity since I'm afraid I'll become ill again and won't be able to make up for most of the days I missed. So the way that I do this is give a nice tip to the benevolent taxi drivers. I was under the impression that they work long hours and don't make a lot of money, since they're constantly tired and they tell me that they're trying to manage, most of the time. Plus I feel grateful for the nice taxi drivers.

I brought this up with my host mother and Jihane. They both tut-tutted me for not knowing better. They told me I should be giving money to the blind or crippled people in the street. Then I explained that in Pakistan, the poor people inflict wounds upon themselves to incite sympathy. I was also informed by my program not to give money to the beggars on the streets for various reasons. I was afraid that they might use that money for alcohol or drugs instead of food or clothing. I felt like this was a rational fear. I mean if I could cook all of the time and distribute food, I would, but this simply isn't accessible for me. So I explained my rationale to them and they agreed that yes, there are scheming people in Morocco and maybe next time we can figure out other ways to give charity together. I happily agreed.

I'm sure a long list of other mistakes will come up in the next few months and I'm excited to share them with you so you can laugh with me.